He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
