I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Randomize
