I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
