Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
