I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
