Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
