yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
