its not stalking. its research.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
