Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
