..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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