shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
