i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
A+ Viking dick
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
