You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
