You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
