I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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