How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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