Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
