He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
