she was so not down for the gang bang
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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