I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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