I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
