Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
