saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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