I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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