my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
is it fun? or sober?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
