I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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