Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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