Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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