this beer tastes like vomit already
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
