Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
