I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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