ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
