It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
