Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
