summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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