bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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