Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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