What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
