I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
