It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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