I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
