I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
