I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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