I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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