Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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