Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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