he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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