I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
