Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
