somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
